fresh sheets, tidy room
Rest. Going to bed on time. Sleeping well.
Rest is the thing you do when you've done something worthwhile. You work...then you can rest. You exercise...then you can rest. If you are sick, you rest.
Maybe the world has always been muddled, but the lines between work and rest don't seem so clear anymore. While I'm at work, my brain is busy, but my body rests. When I'm home, I'm in contstant motion while my children are awake. My brain is already tired, but it has to keep moving. At the end of the evening I can't rest my brain. So instead I rest my body. This isn't the way it is supposed to be. I'm sure of it.
And so I get confused.
When is it that I'm actually supposed to rest? What counts as "enough"? Are Mother's actually allowed to rest? Because I have two kids who are not clear on the rules. There are times when there is really nothing to do and I waste my time. On the computer usually. There are times when there is SO much to do and I sit on my butt and stare at the wall.
I was home today with a sick boy. Coming off of almost two months with almost constant (very nice) visitors, holidays and my own few days in bed meant that our house was a disaster. And I was still tired. There seemed two choices. One was spend the next week trying to regain order. And possibly failing. Instead I called a very dear friend (who usually helps in the garden) and she spent five hours working with me to put my house back together. It was the smartest thing I've done in months.
I know cleaning/tidying house doesn't really count as "rest" but it is...sort of. If you ask for help. If you are making a space for rest to take place. I feel calmer. More ordered. And not exhausted. And it turns out that asking for help and resting can actually be two sides of the same thing.
I'm not good at it yet. And all of this "rest" stuff needs more thought. What is good rest and what is unhealthy. What is true rest and what is not (hello, Pinterest! hello Facebook!)
But I won't think about it any more tonight. Tonight I'm going to close the computer, and get into a bed with fresh sheets in a tidy room and I will rest well.
